The Rulez
Below are the rulez and regulationz listed to help make Ballball®™ a more stable and enjoyable game. Grammar All wordz ending in an 's' must end in a 'z' when stated in any Ballball®™ regulation sentence. Game Format Each mega-game of Ballball®™ must take place between two teamz of 80 people each. The teamz pick their participating playerz in the deciding game with a tournament amongst itz own playerz. These tournamentz must take place simultaneously on two sidez of the same field; the deciding game iz in the middle. All playerz not active must remain az motionlezz as possible on their sidez of the field. The field must alwayz be a basement with an 8 foot ceiling, concrete wallz and astroturf floorz. How to play Ballball®™ A game of Ballball®™ iz a duel between two gentlemen who alternate between the titlez of 'Ball Stroker' and 'Ball Cupper'. The Ball Stroker and Ball Cupper stand 10 feet apart. The Ball Stroker holdz and tossez the Ballball®™ regulation standard Ballball®™ Ball. The Ball Cupper holdz and usez a Ballball®™ regulation standard ball known az 'The Ball'. At the beginning of each game of Ballball®™ the two opponentz must nod to eachother while simultaneously reciting the official Ballball®™ slogan which iz "Ballball®™; It'z in your hole!" The Ball Stroker and Cupper must stand directly in front of each other in a straight line before each throw and after the throw the Ball Stroker iz only allowed to move in a straight horizontal line perpendicular to the direction in which s/he'z facing. In one inning the Ball Stroker must tozz the Ballball®™ ball to the Ball Cupper who must reflect it with the ball and get it past the Ball Stroker to score. The Ball Stroker can move along the horizontal plane to attempt to block the Ballball®™ ball's ricochet. In an inning there are a total of 5 Ballball®™ ball throws. Between each inning the playerz must switch positionz and ballz by shaking handz while simultaneously holding different handlez of the ball, crossing the 10 ft playing plane and leaving the Ballball®™ ball on the Ball Stroker'z side for the new Ball Stroker to pick up. There are 6 inningz in every game. If there iz a tie the two opponentz must decide the winner with a competition to see who could bounce the ball on the ground the most timez with one hand without failing to regrip the ball. An extra point is added to the currently-Ball Cupper'z total for every time the Ball Cupper'z ricocheted Ballball®™ ball hits Dad. Playerz musn't leave their postz in the basement during the entirety of a Ballball®™ game. If a player iz injured or starved during the course of a Ballball®™ game then that player must repeatedly yell "I AM A NINTIEZ KID" and curl up into the fetal position until carried out of the basement. Any staff or paramedicz musn't begin attempting to save the player before 10 seconds have elapsed after the player's second Ballball®™ regulation-mandated declaration of being a nintiez kid. No matter who winz, the winner iz declared to be in second place below Dad. The second placerz ascend the ranks of the teamz' tournamentz to decide who goez on to play the deciding team vs. team game but Dad is always declared the winner of every game. What?!?! No. The winner iz the winner; Dad iz always the loser because Dad '''iz' the loser!'' I disagree but let'z compromize; who do you think should be declared the winner of Ballball®™: Dad or someone like... say... Dad ? In any other circumstance I would vote for Dad because he'z a much more honorable sportsman than Dad but it needz to be the winning opponent! This 'Dad winz' rule is superfluous! Alright, alright; Dad is never the winner.